Behind the Scenes [Part 2]

FUNERAL [Ctd.]

Father Jerry did the homily at our request, and although he had me worried at the beginning, I loved his message. The eulogists continued surprising us with the perfect things to say. Navy Chaplain Shawn Bootsma started off with a wonderful analogy of our emotions to a musical symphony. Ethan "Thurston" Howell told the story of David's first and only flight in an F/A-18 that had happened only nine days before the incident. As we collect all of the eulogies I'll be sure to post them here, but the line that stuck out for me was, "David didn't need a instructor that day." Coming from his younger sister, who wouldn't have any idea if David was just cocky or actually amazing at what he does, I didn't have any problem believing Thurston. When I visited Karen and David early last December, I had randomly asked David who would be his Best Man when the time came. He immediately answered, Chet. Needless to say, we knew exactly who we wanted to speak for David. So, Chet Fearon followed. You could see the hurt in his eyes. He'd lost a friend and a brother. Kathleen and Becka came next and shared many touching qualities of Karen. "Organized Chaos" was the term they used to describe her. Yup, that's Karen:) Mark and I were next in line. You could hear chuckles as we opened up the laptop on the pulpit. We had our arms around each other for extra support and then we just let it flow. Just like the night before, I teared up pretty bad when I talked about Karen and I being mistaken for twins. I'm not quite sure how I could make out the text on the screen with all those tears in my eyes. I guess David gave me some of his superman powers. My mom and dad had written theirs throughout the week. You could see Dad's personality shine through as he recited the exact dates of the times we had recently spent with them. My mom added on with her knack for telling stories. She told the most appropriate story of them all; when David was trying to fly with cardboard wings around age 7. Before he could take off, Karen ran to make sure he had his kneepads on. Those two were always looking after each other. They had their fights as well, but at the end of the day David was always there to protect his little sister, and Karen would always be his biggest fan.

GRAVESIDE SERVICE:

Coming out of the Church was a bit of a surprise. Seeing the hundreds of people who probably couldn't even hear a thing came just to be there. I saw part of our close family outside and felt pretty bad. We were told to walk straight to the cars. There was no time for hugs or anything due to the timing we needed for the flyover. The whole time driving over there we knew David just wanted to gun it and beat us all there, but I'm guessing he figured it wasn't appropriate. We were talking with our driver, talking about how beautifully the service flowed, and then every now and then we would watch our escorts, the Patriot Riders; they sure had their job down.

Upon arrival at Greenlawn, only a few people were there due to the fact that EVERYONE was trying to get across town in time. We waited for a while for most of the family to arrive, while still trying to maintain our window of time for the flyover. Monsignor Mike said a few words and got things started. There was the 21 Gun Salute, and Taps was played, the most beautiful I have ever heard. They folded the flag on David's casket for us, and it was really something to see how meticulous they were about it. The flag was passed to Commanding Officer Bob Brodie, then to Ethan Howell, and finally to David's best friend Chet. Each saluted as they received and passed the flag on. Very reverent. Very slow. Chet then presented the flag to my parents. I know it meant the world to them. I'm pretty sure both my parents were crying at this point. I think shortly after is when the flyover took place.

David(left) and Karen(right) at Greenlawn.

The planes were from David's squadron, VMFAT-101, and the pilots were too. They performed what's called a Missing Man, where one pilot leaves the group and disappears into the sky. They had flown the planes to Fresno earlier that week and had practiced twice before that day. Noah was working on the slideshow at one point, heard the planes outside, and got so excited when he could see them from our back yard. The plan was for them to fly over during Taps, and although the time window wasn't perfect, it worked out just the same. I heard that the bluffs were packed just to see them. Some videos are on my mom's facebook wall (pretty far down) if you're interested.

Soon after, they asked us if we wanted to individually release doves. [Adam O'Rullian had offered his services of Holy Wings, White Dove Release. In a card sent from his mom she said, "Our son Adam is our valiant saint and eagle scout.. Through his own disabilities we are thankful he can share his white doves." How sweet is that?] We knew doves were going to be released from the planning process, but I didn't think they were actually going to let us hold them. When they asked, just about every part of my body said there's no way, but in no more than a split second I thought of Karen and David always willing to try something new. When Mark said, "....ehhhh probably not," I basically cut him off and said, "YES!" It was pretty awesome to see, but for your information, mine was squirming the entire time. I had a little conversation and chuckle with Karen saying You would make sure I got this one.

People were arriving throughout the ceremony, and the majority of the pall bearers arrived just in time to place their flowers on the caskets. We left shortly after that to avoid getting stuck hugging every person there, and get over to the reception. Just before we were about to leave, Mark made sure he would get some shells from the 21 Gun Salute for later. People followed to place petals on the casket, and made their way over to the reception in time.

Captain Dan Knudson says his goodbye at the Graveside Service

RECEPTION:

The Hall was decorated beautifully. I know Mrs. Naworski and Kim Harper had tons to do with it, and I'm sure they had many helpers as well. A big thank you to them for sure. We had David and Karen's pictures displayed on the screen from the beginning. Noah had put together numerous slide shows that were tailored to specific aspects of both of their lives (boy scouts, volleyball, etc.) playing around the room on smaller monitors. We had many things on display for the both of them such as artwork, boy scout and volleyball awards and such. We also had a place outside where people could go and write on a scrapbook page with any memories they had so we could look back on them in later years. Jake's Tex Mex and El Sombrero catered, and it was absolutely delicious. Boy Scouts were around to help serve and be on call for other duties. Tons of Garces students also helped.

Beautiful table settings with Karen and David's display tables in the background.

May I just say that the plan was to have Mark and I just do a quick intro...ya, that lasted. Soon after we got up there, we didn't want to move. I knew someone had to get up there or things would never get started. And, if someone who was supposed to be a mess was up there telling people to get up and eat, then people would most likely listen. So I grabbed Mark and away we went.

People told me I should be a stand up comic after that day. That my friend, is a joke.
1) If someone would have showed me a video tape of us up there 2 months earlier, I wouldn't have believed it.
2) If you were to ask me to do the same thing today, I would undoubtedly have hesitations.
3) Mark's the one who's comfortable in front of a crowd. So when my Dad retrieved me from talking to someone for no longer than 7 minutes saying Mark was struggling on stage, I had to pinch myself.
4) AND I'm still beyond terrified for my public speaking class that I'll probably have to take next quarter.

That's what Karen and David do for you though. They make you so comfortable and confident, that you find new facets of yourself that you had no idea you had. One of the many things I am thankful for. (I will definitely expand on that later.)

Mark and I exercising our dictator capabilities.

Somewhere in between we watched the slideshow. I'd known from the night before, that it was going to be pretty rough for me, but coming from someone who loves movies that make her cry, I knew I wanted to see it. Mark and I came down into the crowd. The first few slides just brought a smile and a few chuckles, remembering the days that the pictures captured, but not too long after, I became the new mascot for Kleenex. Really though, it rocked me to the core. That's probably the closest I had been to realizing they were really gone. You would think that picking out their caskets, or writing their eulogy would usually have that effect long before this point, but no; with the combination of the moving music and the memory-filled pictures, I had no choice but to sob.

Mark and I (center) watching the slidshow. The image shown on screen was at Karen's 8th Grade Graduation.

Speakers upon speakers came up that afternoon to share stories, shed tears, and get a couple of laughs too. Many of their high school friends, a few teachers, old family friends, college friends and teammates, buds from the military and more. A few come to mind. Hannah and Amber shared about their first time meeting Karen, and her self-declared obsession with soft things. Tommy, Kevin, and Sam talked about her tremendous abilities to inhale Olive Garden breadsticks. Tom Black, Sammy, and Mr. Susank also had great things to say. Mr. Westhoff shared that Karen was one of the few to beat him in HORSE. Monica talked about David's theater adventures, especially when his ego ultimately skyrocketed when he had to strip down to his boxers on stage. Matt, Dan, Mike, Jeff and Tia, and John Segrestrom also shared wonderful memories. Someone talked about David's nickname "Cheese." Commanding Officer Brodie came up to talk. His powerful words echoed endlessly for me. He said he could see why David was a Navy man, because his moral code reflected everything they stood for. Honor. Courage. Commitment. (the Marine Corps Code)...then something to the effect of, "Hero. I know this for a fact. David was a hero, up to the last seconds of his life." Hero. That's right, the same kid who always told us he was superman had always been telling the truth. Many others shared that I'm sure I'm forgetting. Ethan Howell also clarified the exact words David had said in the cockpit, "Holy shit, I'm flying a hornet." He didn't feel right to share it in church during his eulogy, although I know I was secretly hoping he would let it slip:) Even Monsignor Braun said, "Well, at least it was a holy one!" It truly was a tremendous gathering of anyone and everyone who were touched by their lives. I don't think we left the hall until about 5 or 5:30, and we had started around one. I can tell you one thing for sure, I know they enjoyed seeing everyone spend time together, and they were right there with us the whole time.


to be continued...


Next post(s): simmering down and the services in San Diego